In the last 130 years, Americans increasingly left rural communities to live in urban and later suburban communities. As of 2020, 81% of people in the United States live in urban and suburban areas, surrounded by densely populated environments, such as schools, neighborhoods, retail stores, workplaces, and public transportation.
Even when we are home in our private dwellings, we have access to the amazing abilities of technology to text, video chat, or peruse social media accounts in the guise of staying connected with others near and far.
Since we are besieged by people every waking moment — in our communities and virtually — why are we so lonely?
New research shows that we are suffering from an epidemic of loneliness that is not only making us depressed but also making us sick and shortening our lifespans.
The Paseo Club is a social club in the Santa Clarita Valley that provides fitness, health, and social activities for people of all ages and interests. We are a community hub fostering connections between the club and the SCV community.
In this article, we will discuss the latest research about how lonely we are as a country, the effects of loneliness, and what you can do to feel more connected and engaged in your life.
How lonely are we?
In 2018, a study of 20,000 people in the US showed that half of them reported they sometimes or always feel alone. A slightly smaller percentage (40%) claimed that all the time or sometimes felt their relationships were meaningless and/or felt isolated.
The report was completed before the Covid-19 virus outbreak. During the peak Covid era, social isolation and disconnection increased drastically.
Researchers hoped that post-epidemic life would be the gateway for more people to reach out to others and engage socially once again. Unfortunately, the statistics are essentially the same as in 2018.
The Surgeon General published a study in 2023 that approximately one in two Americans are lonely and referred not to COVID-19 as the epidemic, but loneliness. They distinguish loneliness as more than just a bad feeling, and outline the mental and physical effects.
How does loneliness impact mental health?
It is no surprise that when you feel lonely, you feel a little down or blue. However, long-term or chronic loneliness can lead to more complex mental and cognitive health struggles. Ami Rokach, PhD, an instructor at York University in Canada and a clinical psychologist, states that chronic loneliness is “torturous.”
People who are lonely show increased risks of:
- Stress
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Low self-esteem
- Impaired executive function
- Accelerated cognitive decline
How does loneliness impact physical health?
If the mental health struggles due to loneliness are not painful enough, our bodies also take the hit — and the effects are not insignificant. Our bodies do not function in segments independent of one another. The stress, anxiety, and depression from loneliness create a perfect storm for impaired health.
Steven Cole, MD, a professor of medicine at UCLA, led a study and observed loneliness can lead to a long-term "fight-or-flight" response, which depresses the immune system and increases the expression of genes involved in inflammation.
The physical toll of loneliness can lead to:
- Poor sleep quality
- Increased chance of stroke
- Decreased immune response
- Increased risk of premature death
- Heightened possibility of dementia
- Increased chance of coronary heart disease
Doctors now associate loneliness as having similar impacts as obesity, smoking, lack of access to healthcare, and physical inactivity.
And if that is not illustrative enough, Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University (BYU), says loneliness increases health risks as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or having alcohol use disorder.
How to combat loneliness — 8 steps to help you feel connected
Although loneliness can feel emotionally crushing and difficult to overcome, there are specific steps everyone can take to begin to turn the feelings of social isolation around. Choose some or all of the suggestions below, it will likely take some trial and error to find which steps are most effective for you.
1. Take care of yourself
When a person is lonely or depressed, it is easy to stop caring about some of the basics. You may lose sleep, eat poorly, and get lost in watching show after show. Stick to a routine of 7-9 hours of sleep, healthy meals three times per day, and regular physical activity. Just these simple changes can make a noticeable difference.
2. Enjoy an activity
Find ways to do an activity that is rewarding and fun. Cooking, knitting, hiking, writing, and ceramics are just a few of the hundreds of ideas available to you. Small activities can give you an energy boost and increase positive feelings.
3. Stimulate your mind
As adults, we can get complacent about learning something new. We have been to school. We have a job. Why learn something new, and who has the time for that? Research shows that keeping your brain active — like your body — can increase confidence, boost cognitive function, and improve your mood. Learning something new does not need to be intimidating — listen to a podcast, play a word game, or sing a new song.
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4. Move
It is not surprising to learn that movement is essential for mental health. Physical activities help release feel-good hormones and change how we feel about ourselves. Choosing a form of exercise you enjoy can also be an opportunity to be around people of similar interests and values, yielding a sense of connection and camaraderie. Join a running club, attend a group fitness class, or play a group sport.
5. Talk to strangers
How many people do we see each week that we have the opportunity to greet and speak to? Likely, the answer is dozens. The barista, the receptionist at the doctor’s office, the guy at the coworking space, to name a few. Although it may feel counterintuitive, greeting strangers is a tool to feel less isolated. It can oil the gears of how to have an enjoyable conversation, and you may find someone you want to develop a friendship with.
6. Find your tribe
One of the most distressing findings about loneliness is that many people report their relationships feel meaningless. Being with people isn’t the antidote to loneliness. Being with people who “get you” is. Spend time with people who have similar interests, goals, hobbies, values, and even communication styles. This will give you a sense of belonging and connection that alleviates loneliness.
7. Get a fluffy friend
Maybe you are at a loss about how to grow your social group. Perhaps you are an introvert and do not want to be around people all the time. Whatever the reason, having a pet is shown to make people less lonely. Owning a pet allows you to caretake, experience physical contact, and provides you with a loyal companion.
8. Make time for nature
Chronically lonely people often feel anxious and depressed. Spending time in nature soothes the nervous system and can help provide a sense of calm. Natural spaces allow us to slow down and enjoy the wonder of the outdoors. Look for hiking trails, gardens, parks, rivers, and beaches near your home so you can regularly make time for nature.
If feelings of loneliness are dominating your life, speaking with a qualified therapist can be an essential step to recover your well-being.
The Paseo Club is the place for connection
The Paseo Club is not just a gym or tennis club. The mission of the club is to be a center for the SCV community with dozens of ways for you and your family to live a healthy life, relax, and have fun.
The club offers several ways to engage with others every month.
- Member mixers
- Fitness challenges
- Small group classes
- Community fundraisers
- Specialty meals at the cafe
- Tennis and pickleball leagues
- And more!
You can keep an eye on all of the options available to you by checking out our seasonal calendar.
If you would like to learn more about the Paseo Club, you can schedule a tour to see all eight acres and meet staff and members. If you are excited about joining the club today, simply hop on your phone or laptop and sign up. Becoming a member has never been so easy!
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